22 years old, says:
"Do you want to eat me?", My neighbor asked me. We were 6 years old.
I remember.The first step of an empty life.
is an ordinary kidstuff little boys playing with their things. We grow up and
boys started looking for girls and dating them. So did I...but somehow inside,
I still wanted to have those kidstuffs with my friends. And they , naturaly,
13,14,15,16...years were going by and, perhaps because I was trying to hide and
deny my feelings and the fear of what they cust cause me, I have dated a lot of
girls and I never loved any of them. Suicide was always a door brigthing me the
end of my suffering.
Through the last 2 years I have dated a st8 boy Andy. We were in love but we
coudn't face the world and make it happen. He left me last month because he
fell in love with a very beautiful blond girl. I was depressed. So mummy made
me the painful and the no way out question: "Are you gay?" She always
Knew that, but she was too scared and shamed and feeling guilt to believe that
the answer was yes. Mummy will never be the same after this. She blames
herself. Every day I ask myself if will have a happy end to this
story...loneliness kills slowly like a cancer... ·Brazil·